The fact which at least I faced early on, was that I knew somehow I was to a large degree responsible for the walls I encountered. But how and what to do about it was a frustrating proposition. It seemed that in areas where I did well, there were no problems to improve, but that precisely in the difficult areas which were most urgent to improve things in a vicious way, were at best staying the same or getting worse. The working engine could be powered up and the trip planning improved except for those holes in the hull that kept getting bigger.
Through the knowledge I have learned and the counseling given and received I have improved tremendously my communication ability and my outlook on life. I have learned to look at lifes continual survival pressures as challenges to overcome, not as a victim of circumstances. I have regained confidence in myself and my abilities in making a difference; even in those forbidden areas. What is interesting is that I am less and less worried or preoccupied about myself.
My marriage of 21 years feels like new , it actually does, thanks to what I have learned in Scientology. My responsibility level has increased beyond me, my family, my friends and my job.
I have learned how to repair upsets, how to spot and help someone fix their misdeeds. I can help someone see which of his or her own forgotten decisions and considerations are acting against them.
Taking on what seems too hard, but what one knows has to be done, and making it to the other side is what makes one grow.
Thanks to his discoveries L. Ron Hubbard has made it possible for me to see this as a gift rather than a chore, as I used to. I am far from pretending perfection, but when I look back, what a difference!
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